Love + Relationships

Maybe these people have a grasp on the elusive nature of Love.

"What do I think of love? - As a matter of fact, I think nothing at all of love. I'd be glad to know what it is, but being inside, I see it in existence, not in essence...  discourse though I may for years at a time, I cannot hope to seize the concept of it except "by the tail": by flashes, formulas, surprises of expression, scattered through the great stream of the Image repertoire; I am in love's wrong place, which is its dazzling place: "The darkest place, according to a Chinese proverb, in always underneath the lamp."
~ Roland Barthes, Lover's Discourse


Realize sat down with the relationship therapist in Manhattan to talk about the virality of online dating
Herein lies a 30 minute interview (in three parts) conducted off the cuff, in Brenda's offices in Manhattan. Brenda Lewis, if you don't already know, is Realize's very own relationship coach and has loads of experience helping clients over the age of 50 finesse the game of online dating. Whether you're already playing or not so happy with your current results, there's plenty to learn in the conversation below!
Lynn Colburn Shapiro, Third Prize Winner Realize Writer's Contest

April 21st, exactly one year ago today, I took myself to Neiman Marcus for the final fitting of the most expensive dress I’d ever been insane enough to buy. What was I thinking? Back in September, I was already half-crazed by the prospect of a child of mine getting married when I lost my mind taking the short-cut through Neiman’s on my way back to the parking lot.  Several hundred dollars worth of teal lace called to me from the rack where it hung in good company with “better dresses,”  sleek and narrow from its sleeveless bodice to its floor-length lace hemline. My daughter’s voice reverberated in my mind, “It’s not too early...

When your senses defy you

Susan’s hands hovered over the piano keys, she’d forgotten the notes. Just as quickly as they’d come into her head, filling her fingers with the flurry of where to go, they were gone. Such an odd feeling. The piano had always provided such solace with its safety in measure and surety of time.

The grandfather clock in the hallway struck nine. Susan took a deep breath and placed her hands in her lap examining her fingers. Where did they go? Cautiously, she allowed her mind to settle on him again. His etched face. His smoky voice. His Denver Broncos baseball cap. A guarded pleasure. She switched off the light next...

A Valentine's Day tradition

Salvatore Giacondo felt the hole crater inside him. He tried to ignore it as he slipped a finger through the dainty teacup handle. A tradition. To sip Earl Grey from Maisie’s Belleek on Valentine’s day. Her birthday.

The mere curve of the teapot brought her full into view as she would pour tea: red, full lips, dancing eyes, blonde hair so yellow it looked like it was its own light source. "Can’t take the gray anymore, Sallie," she'd say. "Makes me look like a cadaver. Think this color makes me look like a floozy?" And they’d laugh. Always the laughter even though the pain was evident in her shorter leg and crumpled hip.

A Parody

Looking for a date night movie that’s sure to make you blush? Breathless Shivers Films, in conjunction with Monogamy Studios, is pleased to announce its latest line of straight-to-DVD releases, inspired by the movie that was inspired by the book that everyone read but no one admitted to reading.

Check out these sizzling new titles:

Fifty Shades of Grey Shades: Home décor gets a sexy makeover. Christian, a handsome billionaire remodeling his luxury apartment, has lamps. Lots of lamps. And he needs some shades to go with them. Aspiring young interior designer Ana signs on to help him and soon finds that there's...

Tina Modotti & Charis Wilson

Edward Weston was a complex man. Often portrayed as a philanderer, a consummate Don Juan with a camera, he was much deeper and caring: a respectful son, a caring brother, a loving husband. A doting, proud, and engaging father, the real Edward Weston was a man whose philosophy of life, art, and love were inseparable. His world, often overly egocentric, was one built in passion, enthusiasm, and love.

One needs only to read the words of Tina Modotti to understand how Weston gained such notoriety as a lover and a womanizer.

One night after – all day I have been intoxicated with the...

And how sex and age play into the process

Like everyone on the planet over the age of 50, with the possible exception of the Unabomber, I’ve had more than a few romantic relationships. I was married for 11 years, engaged for one, partnered with a lovely woman for five, and had a few shorter dalliances along the way.

What I suppose makes me a bit different is that during my 13 years of singlehood, I’ve dated a lot—more than 1,000 dates with more than 300 women. I realize those numbers are off-putting to some, especially women, but if you do the math 1,000 dates in 13 years means an average of seven dates with two or three women a month. And I'm not alone...

Ignore the phone, not your friends
Today, millions of people have developed a Pavlovian response to the ringing in their pockets. They are reaching for their phones instead of reaching out to those right in front of them. Haig Hovaness explores how our ties to mobile devices could be weakening our ties to one another.
The Discreet Pleasures of the Male Female Friendship

I never looked to my father for advice about women when I was growing up. And I certainly didn’t after I left for college and my siblings described how our mother chased him around with a paring knife when she learned about his little fling with his secretary and he packed up and left. As an enthusiastic English major and lacking any advice to the contrary, I still held out hope for transcendence—what D. H. Lawrence called the “star equilibrium,” the perfect balance in the relationship between a man and a woman. 

And I suppose I’ve found it in a marriage that is now over 40 years old and is as comfortable as a...

Teen DayDreams of Perfect Kiss dashed!!

Nose flattened against the storm door, I peered down the street, eyes working hard in the twilight.  At this hour, just how far off could you spot an approaching car?  Three blocks, maybe.  Just enough time to dash to the living room couch, plant a book on my lap and a crease on my forehead before the doorbell rang.     It was 1960, my freshman year in high school.   Two days earlier, I’d been asked to the first dance of the year – on the first (ever!!) date of my life.   It was almost too good to be true.  The asker was a tall, dark, handsome  - and 17-year-old – senior.   What made...

Heating it up with Henry Harvey
Getting a bit arthritic, suicidal? Life has little or no meaning anymore? Guess what - to my knowledge no one on the planet has ever had mind-blowingly great sex and then gone out and jumped off a bridge.
Ex-pat Parisian Ana Eskreis reflects on a personal journey through despair to new love
I’m often told that my life is a dream: I am an independent woman in my mid-fifties living in Paris -- the city of art, lights and love. I take engraving and printing classes at the Louvre, meet friends for high tea, and live just meters from Trocadero. But just two years ago, the life I was leading was a nightmare:
Maybe you didn't make it to the Haight, but it's never too late to free your love.
Summer of Love? Hair flung in ecstatic arcs, gleeful, salacious grins, undulating guitar riffs, bodies cosmically designed for infinite lovemaking.
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